GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
