I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize