from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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