the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
