I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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