Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
