Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
