Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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