Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
