I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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