You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
