please come you make the beer taste better
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize