I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
