I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
