You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
So apparently I’m into choking now
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
