i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
