Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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