I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
