So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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