oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
