sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
