My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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