I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
His nipple licking is glorious
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