im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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