Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
