Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
