who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
