There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
