Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Boobs are out for the taking
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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