She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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