what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You have to summon your inner elephant
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
