So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Sorry about my life...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
