I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
