she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
