I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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