If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
false alarm, still single
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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