I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
