i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
