Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
