We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
