My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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