I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
