im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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