What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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