my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
