Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The uberlube is also flammable
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
