Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
