cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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