Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
