I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
