Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
