he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
