I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
