i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
