She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
