Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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