oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
