So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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