I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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