this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize