I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
