I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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