If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
