Ambien. No doubt about it.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
