I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize