Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
