i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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