Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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